If ever there were a crime for being too cool, I commited it.

So in a raging, but brief, moment of insanity I decided it would be "cool" to "bunny hop" down a hill in roller blades. This, as you can see to your right, was not the brightest of ideas. I am documenting this tragedy to show that it is, A. still cool to roller blade and B. still and always will be hilarious when people bust ass and get hurt.

I'm going to post a list of ways to have fun and look cool while having fun "Lauren and Sarah Style" hope yall enjoy and put it to good use.

• Always look creepy-check



• Roller blade-check



• If you fall down a hill completely busting ass roller blading, get up and laugh it off-check



• Wear tube socks and flip flops...in public-check



• Take ridiculous pictures/videos when people are around watching you like you are some crazed idiot-check



• If you think something could be a bad idea, do it anyways, and video tape it-check

Not going to dwell any further

At this point I am going to pick my sorry lonesome ass up off the ground and just live my life. Who has time for a wine ass? I am not going through anything I didn't either see coming or bring on myself in one way or another. There are lessons to be learned with everything that happens. I guess I learned a big one. It doesn't matter how you see yourself in the future, nothing is for sure and nothing is safe. Nothing. It really is a huge kick in the balls but what can you do but learn? So I am washing my hands of feeling sad, afraid, or any other emotion besides just pure and total distaste. I am opening myself up for fun and exciting things. I want to try things I have never tried. I wanna do things I have never done. And I want to go places I have never gone. This time is about me and I am allowed to be completely selfish. I have a chance to just "spread my wings and fly" as some wiseass once told me not too long ago. So fly I will.
Goodbye.

Day 1:Numb

Is it better to feel or feel nothing?

Numbness. I can taste the lingering last bit of sanity draining from me as I type. Things are pretty much the exact same as they were yesterday and the day before. The small exception is that I am not quite as alive as I was then. Something is gone. Some part of me is missing. A big part. Will that heal in time? Or will the wound continue to scab over and be scraped off, leaving it to rescab and be scraped off again and again? It is somewhat like a real wound. The initial feeling is nothing due to your body's inflammatory response. The next step is immense, gut wrenching pain. Then we proceed to the healing process. This is where it gets tricky. All wounds in time will heal, but all wounds can also be reopend to bring about a whole new pain.

Is that whole new pain worth it? Is it worth it to open youself back up to the world. Vulnerability is not a state many want to be in. It is sort of like being thrown to the worlves in a sense. You are wounded and bleeding, and all of the bloodsucking bastards you are trying to protect yourself from descend. No one can help hurting the vulnerable. Its just so easy right? Weak and pathetic, they are practically begging to be stepped all over...

The end of life as I knew it.

Its funny how simply over things can be in a matter of minutes. Its like you walk in a room this one person and leave completely and utterly changed forever. Whether that change be good or bad, it is life altering. Life as I knew it simply walked out of the door with me and went the other way, never hesitating for one second to look back. So that thought leaves me with this one lingering question:... Should I? Because there is no going back. Nothing will simply be as it was. It can never be that way again. So why should I even look back at it? Why waste my time when it was never truly mine to waste in the first place? Life really is over as I knew it oh so well.

High tops and bestfriends

Ok this is my first time blogging. In a while atleast. It feels good to be back. I just wanted to say that so far the upside of my day consists of a really badass bestfriend and an awesome pair of high tops. Other than that the rest is on the fence so far. But then again, what more does my life really consist of these days besides my bestfriend, high tops, and my dog? I feel that I have been all but ostracized from my life as I knew it. Besides the trio I mentioned above. The rest can really just kiss my ass. And I do mean that in the nicest way possible.
Well, I must go eat some soup.