Is it better to feel or feel nothing?
Numbness. I can taste the lingering last bit of sanity draining from me as I type. Things are pretty much the exact same as they were yesterday and the day before. The small exception is that I am not quite as alive as I was then. Something is gone. Some part of me is missing. A big part. Will that heal in time? Or will the wound continue to scab over and be scraped off, leaving it to rescab and be scraped off again and again? It is somewhat like a real wound. The initial feeling is nothing due to your body's inflammatory response. The next step is immense, gut wrenching pain. Then we proceed to the healing process. This is where it gets tricky. All wounds in time will heal, but all wounds can also be reopend to bring about a whole new pain.
Is that whole new pain worth it? Is it worth it to open youself back up to the world. Vulnerability is not a state many want to be in. It is sort of like being thrown to the worlves in a sense. You are wounded and bleeding, and all of the bloodsucking bastards you are trying to protect yourself from descend. No one can help hurting the vulnerable. Its just so easy right? Weak and pathetic, they are practically begging to be stepped all over...
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